Star Wars Saturdays! Cocaine Fueled Anthropomorphic Rabbits and Other Intergalactic Action Figure Shenanigans!


I haven’t posted in a while, mainly because I am now in possession of a Playstation 4 and have been distracted by HD versions of games I have played twelve million times before on the original Playstation and Playstation 2. Nevertheless I have managed to tear myself away from Kingdom Hearts to play with some Star Wars figures for a little while.

So, what screams Star Wars more than an anthropomorphic rabbit that looks like he is in the throws of a three day cocaine binge? Nothing of course.



Shall we have a close up of his wide eyed, terrifying face?




Yikes! He really does look like he’s seen some messed up shit. Obviously it isn’t actually a coke-fueled bunny, it’s a Teemto Pagalies action figure from 2002, one of the Podracers from the infamous Episode I. Teemto was onscreen for about five seconds but those five seconds were still enough for Lucasfilm and Hasbro  to justify releasing his likeness in action figure form.

Teemto didn’t really have much of a personality at all in the movie, perhaps because he looked like movie CGI at it’s worst and wasn’t onscreen for very long. He played a bigger role in The Phantom Menace game for the original Playstation and PC, where he was constantly drunk and burped a lot, naturally making him a firm favourite character of mine, as the Star Wars universe is woefully devoid of belching, drunken rabbits.

So what’s the figure like? S’okay I suppose.




He doesn’t really do a great deal, but he does come with some goggles which you can put over his eyes. If you are a fan of action figure eye-wear, this may please you but I don’t think I could be less interested in goggles as an accessory. It actually isn’t the worst action figure accessory though, it’s just a bit boring.


Accompanying Teemto is an excuse to bulk the price up a spider robot thing that can pick up a broken engine by pushing a little button on the top of it’s head. It’s not terribly exciting, but it works okay, a bit like on of those claw games you get in arcades.




Overall, I quite like Teemto and spider droid set, though it isn’t the most exciting. I’m pretty sure I picked this figure up from Toys R Us around 2003 as they were doing three figures for £10. I’m pretty sure the other two figures I got along with this was the Cloud City Duel Darth Vader, and Ephant Mon, the latter being one of my favourite Star Wars toys to date. He really needs to make an appearance on a future Star Wars Saturdays post.


So that was a look at a figure from the early 2000s. Let’s take a look at a more modern Star Wars set from last year (2016).


It’s everyone’s favourite Rebel Commando- Pao, versus a Death Trooper!

I have no real knowledge on who Rebel Commando Pao is, but I think I remember seeing him at some point during the Rogue One movie. It’s funny, once there was a time where I could tell you the backstory of every single Star Wars character in pretty much every movie, and I knew the whole Expanded Universe in and out after reading hundreds of novels, comics and playing every video game. Then Disney decided none of that was official anymore and it seemed pointless for me to learn all of the new backstories and stuff that lines up with the new films and I really don’t have the time to even if I wanted to. So Commando Pao, I may never know your past adventures and heroic exploits, but let’s appreciate the action figure that you are.




Oh man, that face! He looks like he has just walked in on a coked up bunny doing unsavoury things to a robot spider. He’s an okay figure though, with the very basic articulation that modern (non Black Series) Star Wars figures have. One gripe is that his blaster rifle is very rubbery and has bent a little in the packaging. He also comes with a white backpack that looks more like it belongs on a Hoth Rebel instead of Pao, but I guess the Rebels have limited resources and can’t colour coordinate all of their troop’s gear all the time.

The Death Trooper figure is similarly articulated and does a nice job of capturing the lanky physique of the onscreen Death Troopers.




He also comes with a bent blaster rifle, and a huge rocket launcher weapon that fits onto his back, pretty much guaranteeing who will win in a combat scenario between him and Pao.





I quite like both of these figures though neither are really overwhelming. Like all of my modern Star Wars figures, I picked these up cheap, I think from TK Maxx for about £4. I really am a miser when it comes to buying Star Wars merchandise as I know the majority of modern Star Wars figures will never retain the value I pay for them. And I already have far too many really.





So I think that concludes this Star Wars Saturday post. If we have learned anything, (and I’m pretty sure we haven’t) it’s that cocaine and rabbits don’t mix, but shoulder mounted missile launchers and teeny action figures strangely do.


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