Sometimes I encounter a toy or a plaything that makes me really question what the hell the designers were thinking. But not this day. Ladies and gentleman, may I please introduce you to my new favourite thing in the worl:
It’s Jabba Glob! There was a certain period of time in the ’80s and ’90s where it seemed to be a legal requirement for all toylines to feature at least one thing which dribbled, spat or oozed slime. I am pretty sure He-man did it, Ninja Turtles definitely did, and I think Harry Potter toys did too. But in 1999 I totally missed out on this gem, even though I distinctly remember seeing it in the Argos catalogue. Jabba the Hutt is quite renown for his drooling and eating weird frog things so sooner or later they were bound to release a toy which would properly encapsulate his vile attributes.
The idea of this Jabba toy is you load him up with slime and little plastic frogs, squeeze him and slime will leak out of his mouth. This is admittedly a little weird, as apart from a few specks of drool around his mouth in Return of the Jedi, Jabba doesn’t really emit that much slime.
The back of the card shows how to set it up and features a picture of a kid who doesn’t look like he is remotely concerned about whether he gets slime on his parents upholstery.
Seeing as the toy is 17 years old, I didn’t have high hopes that the tub of slime would still be usable.
As you can see, my suspicions were pretty sound. The slime had ceased to be slime and had become jelly. The toy had obviously spent a great deal of time lying flat, and the effect looked kind of like the part in Bruce Almighty where Bruce separates his soup in the diner.
Luckily slime seems to be an easy acquisition in most toy shops these days, so it wasn’t too much of a challenge to get a replacement.
Along with the slime, it also came with a packet of frog things. I cannot remember if they were in Episode I or Return of the Jedi, but they do look like something I have seen onscreen at some point.
So after loading up the J man with slime and frogs, you can see that he does look pretty good. Perhaps a little slimier than usual, but definitely similar to how he looks in the movies.
Though this isn’t the point of the figure. By giving him a proper squeeze, he is meant to expel the slime from his mouth and the end result is that he vomits spectacularly.
“Guys, I don’t feel so good…”
Just beautiful. I don’t know what circumstances occurred for Jabba to empty his stomach like this, but I guess that’s for whoever is playing with the toy to decide. Political disdain, just flat out overeating, or perhaps his first time viewing of ‘Two Rodians, one Bantha’, who knows? But the outcome is downright amazing.
Though I do have mixed feelings about the prequel movies, they did make for some interesting toys, and this is definitely one of them. I didn’t know it was an experience I was missing out on, but I can make Jabba spew all over Dengar’s head whenever I feel like it now. It’s the little things in life you have to appreciate, and this is something I will be appreciating until I next have to go out to buy more slime.